Ranking NFL Owners...

Angry Pope

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Evaluating and ranking all the NFL owners, from 1-32


Michael Silver

Posted: Monday July 2, 2007 12:15PM; Updated: Monday July 2, 2007 12:22PM

Ten months ago, amid the muggy tyranny of summer and the unrelenting heat of a high-profile holdout, the shrewd men who manage the New England Patriots made one of their rare missteps.

With wideout Deion Branch looking for far more money than the Pats were willing to pay, owner Robert Kraft signed off on a peculiar strategy. Last Aug. 25, the team announced it had given Branch and his agents a one-week window to seek a trade and negotiate a contract with another team.

In what proved to be a massive miscalculation of Branch's free-market value, the Patriots seethed as the Jets and Seahawks swooped in to make fat offers. Eventually, in a move that angered star quarterback Tom Brady and many of his teammates, the Patriots sent Branch to Seattle for a first-round pick in the '07 draft.

When all was said and done, Kraft and his heavily involved eldest son, team president Jonathan, could justify their decision thusly: They didn't believe Branch was more valuable than last April's 24th-overall pick, and they certainly didn't think he was worth the six-year, $39 million deal he got from the Seahawks. Look at it this way: At the time Branch signed that contract, he was scheduled to pull in more cash over the following three seasons than any other receiver in football.

Yet, as Kraft watched last January's AFC Championship Game in Indianapolis -- with Reche Caldwell dropping key passes and New England lacking a first-rate wideout when Brady most needed one -- the owner was smart and realistic enough to understand this harsh truth: The decision to part with Branch may well have cost his team a fourth Super Bowl championship in six seasons.

Kraft's reaction? The Pats went out and beefed up their roster with one of the most aggressive and productive offseasons in NFL history, including a marquee signing (do-everything linebacker Adalius Thomas) and the acquisition of four receivers capable of having a big impact: Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth, Wes Welker and Kelley Washington. Best of all, New England pulled it off without screwing up its cap-savvy salary structure -- and somehow came away with an extra first-round pick in the '08 draft.

It is proactive behavior like this that makes Kraft a fan favorite -- and, as with last year, the man at the top of our annual NFL Owner Rankings. Once again, many factors are considered -- business savvy, devotion to league growth, aggressive pursuit of winning -- with one overriding consideration: If you're a fan of the team in question, do you want this person (or people) making the big decisions.

1. Robert Kraft (Jonathan Kraft), Patriots

First of all -- and this is an entire column topic for the future -- can we all raise our hands and agree that the switch from Paul Tagliabue to Roger Goodell has been one of the better things to happen to the league in recent memory? Most owners and league insiders would endorse that statement, and Kraft has long been one of the new commissioner's most trusted advisors on big-picture matters ranging from television to labor negotiations.

As for on-the-field matters, even if you believe that Randy Moss is the exact type of player you wouldn't want in a team atmosphere -- as I do -- you have to concede that Kraft got a ton of potential value for relatively little financial risk, even if Moss acts like a jerk and the Patriots cut him. Assuming Brady and coach Bill Belichick hang around for the next five to 10 years, Kraft has a chance to score a record number of Lombardi Trophies for a franchise that barely sniffed a title before he took over. Perhaps even more improbably, he and Jonathan are in the process of making Foxborough, Mass., a nice place to visit, thanks to the $350 million that will build Patriot Place, a retail and entertainment complex in the shadow of Gillette Stadium.


2. Jerry Jones (Stephen Jones), Cowboys



Keeping up with the Joneses is about to become that much tougher for the rest of the owners. When the Cowboys' $1 billion stadium in Arlington opens in 2009, it promises to be the sweetest and most profitable outdoor facility in the land, what with its state-of-the-art architectural touches, sliding roofs and playing fields, monstrous video screens, tricked-out club areas (which players pass through on their way to the field). It'll have a seating capacity of 80,000 for regular season games and more than 100,000 for Super Bowls -- beginning with Super Bowl XLV in 2011, which Jones helped the region land in May. (Jerry's eldest son, Stephen, the team's executive vice president, spearheaded the stadium deal.)

The best thing for Cowboys fans is that Jones will take much of the money that comes pouring in and put it back into his product. He'll do the same with the extra cash he didn't have to pay his former coach after Bill Parcells blinked first last January and resigned without a buyout. (Yeah, I know it wasn't reported that way, but it was a staredown, and Jones won.)

Things haven't been as bountiful on the field for the Cowboys lately as they were in the '90s, but it's not because Jones isn't trying. Besides, how cool is a boss who encourages his emerging-star quarterback to live it up off the field?

3. Jerry Richardson (Mark Richardson), Panthers

Charlotte is a small market, but you'd never know it from the way Richardson runs his business. Unlike so many of his sniveling peers, Richardson doesn't whine about his potential revenue disadvantages. Instead, he finds a way to make it work financially while fielding a habitually competitive team.

While Mark, Jerry's second-eldest son and the team's president, expertly handles the bulk of the Panthers' day-to-day operations (and helped nail down a lucrative naming-rights deal with Bank of America in '04), his dad does a great job representing the team on a league level. It was Jerry, the co-chair of the commissioner search committee (along with the Steelers' Dan Rooney), who expertly drove that process in a way that left no owner feeling disenfranchised. By reaching out and soliciting the input of so many of his peers, Richardson helped ensure that everyone felt good about Goodell's selection. That widespread base of support is already paying off for the new commissioner as he beefs up the league's disciplinary policies.

4. Bryan, Joel and Ed Glazer, Buccaneers

While their father, Malcolm, sadly lies in a coma, the Glazer brothers have honored his legacy as a smart businessman who was willing to spend big money to compete at the highest level. Rather than fight amongst each other for control, as we've seen happen in other situations of this nature, Bryan, Joel and Ed have pulled off a smooth transition at a difficult time.

The Bucs backslid badly on the field in '06, and onetime Golden Child Jon Gruden could lose his head-coaching job if there isn't marked improvement this year -- a sign that the Glazers aren't getting complacent after finally winning their first Super Bowl five years ago. Last year they upgraed the Bucs old training facility -- a glorified trailer next to a jumbo-jet landing strip -- by opening a gorgeous facility that measures nearly 150,000 square feet (or the size of the typical Tampa gentleman's club).

Meanwhile, the family that was roundly blasted in the UK upon acquiring a majority share of Manchester United two years ago is presiding over a bloody good show: United just won the Premier League and the brand has never been hotter. (While Jeff Garcia, Chris Simms and possibly Jake Plummer battle it out to see who runs the Bucs' flailing offense, there's no doubt that Cristiano Ronaldo is The Man for Man U.)

5. Daniel Snyder, Redskins


If anything, Snyder tries too hard to build a winner. In January '06, when Snyder wooed former Chiefs offensive coordinator Al Saunders with a three-year deal worth more than $2 million annually, it seemed like a great move on paper. Instead, Saunders' philosophy clashed with that of head coach Joe Gibbs, which was one reason the team fell from a playoff appearance in '05 to a 5-11 finish last season. Snyder's zealous mentality also enables Gibbs and VP of football operations Vinny Cerrato to overpay for free agents like Adam Archuleta, Antwaan Randle El and Brandon Lloyd, none of which helps the on-field product.

But hey, at least he's trying. Snyder will get it right eventually, if only because he won't settle for anything less -- a quality far too owners possess. And he is pulling in an enormous profit in the meantime, thanks to his innovative marketing strategies. He's also more of a team player on the league level than you might imagine, as evidenced by his willingness to go along with the revenue-sharing plan that ensured labor peace in the spring of '06.

6. Jeffrey Lurie, Eagles

Philly has been hit with some tough circumstances over the past eight months: Franchise quarterback Donovan McNabb's ACL tear (and ensuing drama over his perceived job security, or lack thereof) and Andy Reid's five-and-a-half-week leave of absence this winter as two of the coach's sons faced legal and substance-abuse issues. But Lurie's steady, reasoned ownership style, and the excellent management approach of team president Joe Banner, will keep the organization humming.

The Eagles, for better or worse, stick to a rigid system of player valuation, and it works for them. Lurie is a positive, progressive force in league circles who generates revenue through Lincoln Financial Field, which opened in '03 after the team sank $310 million into the project.

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7. Bob McNair, Texans

Like Snyder, McNair is an aggressive, personally invested owner who desperately wants to field a winning team. Unlike the Redskins' boss, McNair hasn't even come close to doing so.

Since the Texans joined the NFL in '02, there have been a lot of dubious decisions on key matters, from the stubborn insistence that David Carr was a franchise quarterback to the selection of Mario Williams over Reggie Bush and hometown hero Vince Young in the '06 draft. McNair, at the very least, deserves some blame for hiring the people who made those decisions.

That said, he has established a highly valued franchise in a market the NFL had abandoned. He also worked exceptionally hard on last year's revenue-sharing plan. And, on a self-serving note, McNair's may be the most media-friendly organization in the league.

8. Wayne Huizenga, Dolphins

Huizenga was fourth in last year's rankings, and deservedly so: He's a brilliant businessman who works hard to generate revenue (some of it secured through smart stadium upgrades) and is willing and able to spend money in an attempt to build and maintain a winning team. But I can't get past the way he smiled and grinned and practically sucked up to Nick Saban as the deceitful coach -- after having denied he was interested in the Alabama job for weeks -- slithered off to Tuscaloosa. As the Miami Herald's Dan LeBatard so masterfully pointed out at the time, "Huizenga went after Ricky Williams and his money with cutthroat zeal, and Williams is still paying him back. But Saban just broke a contract, too."

My sources tell me Huizenga seethed in private but was too much of a gentleman to say anything disparaging about Saban in public. Forgiving Williams's imaginary debt and letting the halfback get on with his done-with-football life would be an equally gentlemanly gesture that'd make Huizenga look like much less of a hypocrite.


9. Dan Rooney (Art Rooney II), Steelers


Last year I had Rooney ranked 10th, and many of you folks reacted like I'd just rated democracy as the 10th-best form of government. I'm pretty sure this year's move up to No. 9 won't prevent a similar response. Still, I'll start with the positives.

Rooney is a great man who does his community and league proud, and we all know who knocked on Goodell's hotel-room door to give him the good news last August. Best of all, Rooney resisted both conventional wisdom and the vehement urgings of his son, Art II, and passed over a pair of strong in-house candidates (Ken Whisenhunt, Russ Grimm) to succeed coach Bill Cowher, instead choosing 34-year-old Vikings assistant Mike Tomlin. Regardless of how well Tomlin does in his new job -- and he'll have time to grow into his role, thanks to Rooney's legendary and commendable patience -- we know now that the man who inspired the Rooney Rule truly is committed to advancing the causes of minority-coaching prospects.

OK, now for the not-so-perfect news: Rooney could've retained Cowher had he been willing to pay market value, but his frugal tendencies wouldn't allow it, which is a recurring theme when it comes to Pittsburgh players. He also waited too long to force the issue, creating an obvious lame-duck situation that helped contribute to the Steelers' squandering of their championship edge.

Finally, I'm thoroughly baffled that a boss with Rooney's values would allow his offensive line coach (Larry Zierlein) to remain employed after the recently hired assistant forwarded a pornographic video clip (of a Britney Spears impersonator, by the way) to every high-level executive in the league and his/her secretaries. Ask yourself this question: If someone in accounting had done the same thing, would that person still have a job?

10. Pat Bowlen, Broncos

Bowlen's teams do a lot of winning on the football field -- though, as Broncos fans are all too aware, they've only managed one playoff victory since John Elway retired after the '98 season. And Bowlen has strongly supported the coach and de facto GM, Mike Shanahan, who guided the franchise to back-to-back Super Bowl titles in Elway's final two years.

But Bowlen, another big spender with a good stadium situation and who is influential in league matters, recently bore some responsibility for an embarrassing defeat in the courtroom. In May the New York Supreme Court ruled that Comcast is free to relegate the NFL Network to a premium all-sports tier, potentially keeping a large amount of fans from viewing regular-season games. Bowlen, who chairs the NFL's broadcast committee, had sold his fellow owners on heeding the advice of NFL Network boss Steve Bornstein, who last fall advocated suing Comcast rather than trying to work out a settlement. Oops.

11. Jimmy Irsay, Colts

It's tough not to lavish praise on Irsay right now; this is his moment. The Colts are Super Bowl champions, Peyton Manning is the league's most marketable player and they're building a plush new stadium in downtown Indy that opens next fall. I could complain about the franchise's Draconian approach to media relations, but I'm going to let it slide, because this is one owner whose company I thoroughly enjoy. A former ball boy who inherited his late father's team -- but none of Bob Irsay's gruffness and other negative personality traits -- Jimmy treats his employees well and maintains a painstakingly positive outlook. Do you believe in karma? I'm pretty sure Irsay does.

12. Paul Allen, Seahawks

A few months ago, a startling event occurred. Allen, the Microsoft co-founder who shies away from involvement in league business like a nerdy computer geek walking past cheerleader practice, called Goodell and asked to be on the league's new digital media committee. Goodell was so pleasantly surprised that he made Allen the chairman. Never mind that Allen hasn't yet bothered to attend a meeting (he did participate in one session by telephone); at least he's paying attention.

On a team level, Allen is everything you'd want in an owner. He's got more money than some sovereign nations and he's willing to spend tons of it to try to win. He also knows to get out of the way so the football people can do their jobs. His new stadium is sweet, the Seahawks' fans are more fired up than they've ever been and, naturally, the wireless feed in the press box is unrivaled.

13. Steve Bisciotti, Ravens

Bisciotti, by all accounts, is rich, fun and wise. The one thing he's not is overly present, instead preferring to spend the bulk of his time in South Florida working on his perpetually killer tan. When Bisciotti is in the state where the Ravens play, it's often because he's attending Maryland hoops games, another one of his passions.

Things could be a lot worse in Baltimore: Bisciotti is a relatively big spender and a smart manager. The football operations department is in great hands, with Ozzie Newsome, one of the league's best general managers, firmly in charge. Bisciotti also seemed to have successfully re-energized coach Brian Billick before the '06 season, one possible reason the team went 13-3 (before losing in the playoffs to Indy).

14. John Mara/Jonathan Tisch, Giants

As they step up to replace their recently deceased fathers, Mara and Tisch are taking different approaches, the latter co-owner staying largely in the background. Mara, one league insider says, has a lot of promise, "a chance to blend his dad's best qualities with a modern flair. He's calm and loyal and respectful of the tradition, yet he understands that the league has evolved."

Mara impressed many league honchos when, during last year's debate over the proposed revenue-sharing agreement, he stood up to several old-line owners and told them, "You're not being realistic." And though he couldn't pull off a stadium deal in Manhattan, Mara did a nice job of making do with a new facility in Jersey, where a significant slice of the team's fan base resides.


15. Clark Hunt, Chiefs


After taking over for his father, Lamar, who died last December, it looks like Clark will have to wait a bit to make a splash with the on-field product: The Chiefs are obviously in rebuilding mode, recently trading quarterback Trent Green and still shopping All-Pro halfback Larry Johnson. But those who know Hunt well say he is a shrewd, demanding manager who is unlikely to show the same blind loyalty to team president Carl Peterson that his father did.

Be it Peterson's or Hunt's fault, the Chiefs bungled the trade of Green. Rather than quietly deal him when he had some perceived market value, the team let it be known that Green wasn't in their plans, causing them to get into a prolonged staredown with the Dolphins. That aside, Hunt has done a nice job overseeing renovations at Arrowhead Stadium and could emerge as a major influence in owners' circles.

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16. Bob Harlan/Green Bay Packers Inc. (Brett Favre)

No, Favre doesn't actually own the Packers -- he just acts like he does. Or, more accurately, he is allowed to act that way by the people with nominal power in the organization, and the quarterback's drawn-out departure seems destined to drag down the franchise as a result.

As for the men in suits: Harlan, the 70-year-old CEO of the league's sole publicly owned team, had planned to step aside for team president John Jones. But Jones was placed on administrative leave in May -- four days before he was supposed to take over -- meaning Harlan will stay on until another successor is in place. The good news is that the Packers have already pulled off a successful renovation of Lambeau Field and are on strong footing financially.

17. Woody Johnson, Jets

To Johnson's credit, he tries hard and seems to have scored with last year's hiring of Eric Mangini as coach. But Johnson's peers don't believe he's especially deft when it comes to high-level business maneuvers. Though his joint deal with the Giants on the new stadium in Jersey is a 50-50 proposition on paper, many NFL insiders think he got played. "Because it's in Giants' country, the Jets will still be second-class citizens there," says one owner. "He should've figured out how to do a Westside stadium. It's New York -- you could get people to build one out there."

18. Bud Adams, Titans

Last year I ripped Adams for two things -- being on the verge of firing coach Jeff Fisher, and mandating the selection of Young with the No. 3 overall pick because of his ongoing feud with the city of Houston. Uh, let's see -- there's always his marvelous mane.

With Young emerging as a rookie standout and Fisher doing another stellar coaching job, the Titans nearly pulled off an unlikely playoff berth in '06, and both men are here to stay. Give Adams credit for getting rid of longtime general manager Floyd Reese, with whom Fisher had clashed for years, and replacing him with Mike Reinfeldt. But take away points for Adams' refusal to allow the team to spend a second consecutive training camp at Austin Peay State University in Clarksville, Tenn., this summer because he didn't want to spend an extra $200,000.

19. Arthur Blank, Falcons

Blank's another guy who's fun to talk to, and I like his intensity level and willingness to spend, but somebody has to say what Blank himself must be starting to realize by now: He is the league's most conspicuous enabler. From pushing around the injured Michael Vick in a wheelchair on the Georgia Dome sidelines in 2003 to excusing virtually every irresponsible move the quarterback has made, Blank has done his franchise and its fans a disservice.

In football, no one player is bigger than the team, but Blank spent years giving everyone the opposite impression. Even after the horribly timed Matt Schaub trade to the Texans -- and even though the following defies conventional wisdom, because he'd get nothing in return (other than a chance to cut his losses) -- Blank should swallow hard and make a statement by cutting Vick -- the inevitable grievance from the players' association be damned.

20. Al Davis, Raiders


Here I was as I wrote this piece, all ready to praise Davis for his new-found spirit of cooperation and conciliation in league matters, when an email arrived from Oakland PR director Mike Taylor entitled, "NFL Network Disregards Raiders Again." That's right, a team coming off a 2-14 season and struggling to fill its stadium is focused on what's truly important -- making sure everyone knows the Raiders were snubbed during the network's recent telecast featuring the league's top 10 single-season performances of alltime.

Tempting as it was to drop Davis about 10 spots, I'll leave him here, in recognition of his football acumen and his surprisingly supportive behavior during the revenue-sharing debate of '06 and last summer's commissioner search. He hasn't even sued anyone lately, at least as far as I know, though the NFL Network's Steve Bornstein might want to run the other direction if he sees an unfamiliar dude walking toward him holding a stack of papers.

21. Georgia Frontiere (John Shaw), Rams

With Frontiere essentially checked out, Shaw, the longtime team president, is the de facto owner. He's a guy I'd like to have a beer with -- which, evidently, makes him a guy who could end up in the White House -- even when we're not of a like mind. To Shaw's credit, after years of front-office dysfunction, he initiated some necessary changes after the '05 season, beginning with the jettisoning of hyper-paranoid coach Mike Martz. Successor Scott Linehan has a chance to be special, and no one rushes through the nearest door when he walks down the hallway.

22. Randy Lerner, Browns

Unlike the Glazers, who bought Man U because it was a shrewd business move, Lerner -- at least as I see it -- bought Aston Villa last summer because he has an incredible passion for footie. That's cool, unless you happen to be a Browns fan. Lerner, who lives in New York, is more likely to turn up across the pond than he is at Browns headquarters, where a source says general manager Phil Savage -- having prevailed in a power struggle against former team president John Collins late in the '05 season -- is now feuding with coach Romeo Crennel. It sounds like somebody needs to be yellow-carded, but who knows if Lerner is even paying attention? The Browns had a promising draft, but this is a dysfunctional franchise.

23. Zygi Wilf, Vikings

When Wilf was about to take over the Vikes in May 2005, then-owner Red McCombs declared, "It looks like Zygi's going to be the biggie." A little more than two years later, the question is, "Big what?" Minnesota's stadium situation is a mess, with no escape from the Metrodome (save a possible move to L.A.) on the horizon. The team's starting quarterback is... uh... who is it again? The head coach is, uh, you know, that bald guy. Meanwhile Wilf, who vowed to cut the players responsible for the infamous 'Love Boat' incident of '05, still pays big money to the prime organizer. "I don't think he realized when he bought the team that this ain't real-estate development," one owner says of Wilf. "This is hard work if you want to turn something around." Suddenly, to Vikings fans, McCombs isn't looking so loony.

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24. Alex Spanos (Dean Spanos), Chargers

Last year in this space I took some shots at the elder Spanos and was later informed by PR director Bill Johnston that Alex's son, Dean, was actually running the show. Well, I love Johnston -- and I hear Dean's a great guy, too -- but neither is going to like what I have to say here.

The Chargers, even after their devastating playoff defeat to the Patriots, were set up for an extended run of excellence before Dean's lack of decisive leadership put all of that in peril. Simply put, the dysfunctional (that's Dean's word, not ours) relationship between general manager A.J. Smith and coach Marty Schottenheimer wasn't working, yet Spanos buried his head and pretended everything was hunky-dory. A call had to be made on Schottenheimer right after the season, and Spanos chose to keep him, knowing full well that coordinators Cam Cameron and Wade Phillips would be candidates to fill other openings. Or maybe Spanos didn't know this; he sure seemed blindsided when, lo and behold, both coordinators got snapped up as coaches. Then Spanos offed Schottenheimer, leaving the franchise without all three of its top coaches from '06. At that point he might've fired Smith, too; Smith is a shrewd talent evaluator but clearly failed as a general manager. Instead Spanos rewarded Smith by letting him pick Schottenheimer's successor: Norv Turner, he of the career 58-82-1 record as a head coach. Other than that --and the fact that the team's stadium situation is a disaster (while the Padres play downtown in recently opened Petco Park), and Alex's beloved Republican party is cannibalizing itself -- it was a great year for the Spanoses, rivaled only by that of the Sopranos.

25. Denise DeBartolo York and John York, 49ers



Did someone say dreadful stadium situation? Welcome to John's World... Hi, I'm John York. I'm discouraged by negotiations with the city of San Francisco on a new stadium deal, and even though it's all tied to the city's bid for the 2016 Olympics -- and its bid group is meeting RIGHT NOW with USOC officials (after having invested $350,000 and tons of time and energy) -- I'm going to derail everything by pulling the plug and announce that I'll negotiate instead with the city of Santa Clara. What's that? You say I obviously must have a pre-existing arrangement with Santa Clara? Uh, no. Oops, there goes my leverage...

Of all the people in the Bay Area you'd want to rile, Ronnie Lott might be at the bottom of the list, but York managed to do so: Lott was involved in the Olympic bid and, shall we say, didn't appreciate it being abruptly short-circuited. On a positive note, York spent big money on free agents over the offseason, and I'm told he's been less cheap and condescending, in general, than in the past. That sounds promising, but his team still plays in a stadium that a man not very near-and-dear to his heart -- former owner Eddie DeBartolo, York's brother-in-law -- famously described as a "pigsty." More than 20 years ago.

26. Michael McCaskey, Bears

Just as the Yorks don't seem capable of parlaying the nearby Silicon Valley wealth into big-picture endeavors that buoy the franchise, McCaskey is a massive marketing underachiever. He has a storied team in the nation's second-most-populated market where pro football is played; a team, mind you, coming off its first Super Bowl appearance in 21 years. Yet the biggest buzz coming out of Chi-town over the offseason has been:

a) The team's cheap stance toward underpaid coach Lovie Smith, who finally signed a contract extension after his agent announced it wasn't likely to happen?

b) Smith's curious decision to cut loose highly regarded defensive coordinator Ron Rivera -- and, a cynic would note, remove a potential candidate to replace Smith as his own contract situation played out?

c) The organization's hard-line stance toward franchised playmaking linebacker Lance Briggs, to whom they have no intention of offering a long-term contract, and apparently aren't open to trading, likely ensuring he'll miss more than half of the season?

d) Troubled defensive tackle Tank Johnson's jail stint, traffic stop in Arizona and subsequent release, with Smith and general manager Jerry Angelo acting utterly stunned by his misbehavior?

The answer is, Who cares? It's McCaskey's world; the rest of us just laugh at it. Chicago fans should be less stressed about Rex Grossman and more appalled at the performance of this signal-caller.

27. Bill Bidwill (Michael Bidwill), Cardinals

Like George Jefferson, Bill Bidwill (31st last year) is movin' on up -- largely because he has ceded much of his management responsibilities to son Michael, a lively dude who is hell-bent on reversing the team's miserable legacy of failure and isn't averse to dipping into his wallet once in awhile to do so.

Also like Jefferson, the elder Bidwill is a funny man -- though not intentionally so. When the owners were getting ready to vote on who would host Super Bowl XLV, my spies tell me that Bidwill was so blown away by the Cowboys' proposal, he blurted out, "Wow, that Dallas bid is really rich! There's a lot of money there." It was a curious statement, given that Dallas was competing with Indy and Arizona for the bid.

The Bidwills are still semi-chintzy, as evidenced by the fact that they won't fly in prospects before the draft, but it's getting much better. The decision to fire coach Denny Green, who essentially quit midway through last season anyhow, and hire potential superstar Ken Whisenhunt was a great one; then the Bidwills cut a $200,000 check to upgrade the weight room at the team's training facility to the new coach's liking.

28. Wayne Weaver, Jaguars

Last year the man I nicknamed Whine Weaver couldn't crack the bottom eight, but he gets more annoying by the week. First and foremost, he fought to put an expansion franchise in a lightweight town, yet he can't stop crying about his status as a small-market owner and demands revenue-sharing as though it were his birthright. Weaver also, as one owner says, "constantly denies his team is for sale when everyone knows full well it is."

Hey, I just came up with a solution to the L.A. problem: Weaver sells the team to a non-whiner like, say, Larry Ellison or Casey Wasserman, who moves it to the Coliseum (and, soon after, to a newly constructed, Jerry Jones-style palace) and hires Pete Carroll. Any objections coming from outside of Jacksonville's 9,456-mile city limits? Didn't think so.

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29. William Clay Ford (Bill Ford Jr.), Lions

Which genius auto magnate is responsible for the disaster in Big D? That depends on whom you talk to -- though I'm told that Ford Jr., if he had his way, would have fired team president Matt Millen long ago. Either way, there's no disputing that this franchise runs like the Edsel.

Let's forget, for a moment, the team's addiction to drafting receivers high in the first round (hey, Calvin Johnson may indeed be a difference-maker) or Millen's obsession with men whose last names start with the same letter as his, and focus on one, unforgivable sin. You are the Fords, and you (via Millen) just brought in a first-time coach, Rod Marinelli, who is selling himself as a disciplinarian that will transform the culture of the team. He is the new sheriff in town, no doubt about it. But then one of his assistant coaches, Joe Cullen, gets pulled over twice in one week -- once for DUI (driving under the influence), and once for DUE (driving with unit exposed). And you, as Marinelli's ultimate bosses, allow Cullen to keep his job. Gee, I'll bet that really helped Marinelli's respect quotient in the locker room.

30. Ralph Wilson, Bills

Here's a question for you: What business owner voluntarily and conspicuously takes his complaints to Capitol Hill, thereby bringing the spotlight on the perceived failings of his partners and forcing the man who represents them (Goodell) to come rushing to a Senator's office like a chastened schoolboy to explain himself?

That's right, it's Rabble Rouser Ralphie, who in April '06 met with U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) to rail against the revenue-sharing agreement that was adopted to appease Ralphie. Goodell was then summoned to Washington last January to discuss, according to Schumer's website, "how to keep the Bills in Buffalo, better ways to protect small market teams, and the current NFL blackout rule and its ill effects on fans in Buffalo, Rochester, and across Western New York."

Somewhere in heaven, John Lennon was singing, "Hey, Buffalo Bills, what did you kill, Buffalo Bills?" Way to help the brand, Ralph.

31. Tom Benson, Saints

Last year, with the arrival of marvelous rookie coach Sean Payton, Benson was luckier than a guy who stumbles out of Pat O'Brien's, hops aboard a Mardi Gras float full of buxom coeds and gets dropped off at Harrah's, where he slips on a slot-machine handle and hits the jackpot.

I believe Benson would have gladly moved the Saints to San Antonio or L.A. both before and after Hurricane Katrina, which makes it even harder for me to stomach all the healing-the-city propaganda that he and members of his family spewed during last year's stunning run to the NFC Championship game. Still, I'll make Benson a deal: I'll stop ripping him if he gives Payton a huge contract extension immediately and promises to stop doing that insufferable dance.

32. Mike Brown, Bengals

Boy, Brown has sure done a fantastic job of bringing the Bengals into the 21st Century. Once known merely as a pathetic football team whose on-field ineptitude mirrored management's cheap, clueless approach -- the Bungles -- Brown's team has now become a national punch line, his players the poster children for malfeasance. Welcome to Sin City, or Cinci for short.

Until very recently, Brown sat back and watched as clowns like Chris Henry did incomprehensibly stupid things like get arrested for handgun charges while wearing his own jersey and kept their roster spots. You'd think someone who employs so many miscreants (10 Bengals players have been arrested in the last 14 months) would be careful about invoking the names of certain notorious villains, but this is what Brown did in front of more than 50 of his peers at last March's owners' meetings. In the midst of a complaint about the current stadium-building plan that is part of the league's revenue-sharing arrangement, Brown was reminded by a fellow owner that he had taken advantage of the same plan (and a provision that allowed him to waive the club-seat premiums that normally go to visiting teams) upon opening Paul Brown Stadium several years earlier. According to a witness, Brown replied, "Look, it seemed like a good thing in the beginning. A lot of people think a lot of things are good in the beginning. A lot of people thought Hitler was good in the beginning."

And on that tasteful note, I respectfully sign off.
 
Angry Pope,
Just posted this in your ancient Al Davis thread. Damn AP your quicker than I am. rep to you and a hearty thanks from my employer.
 
Thanks R4. Maybe Bones can delete mine and use yours since it already has another Davis article.
 
Dude, that was a hilarious read... hard to belive some of these guys living the dream of owning an NFL franchise could be such douche bags :p

Also interesting how a lot of the younger franchises have the worst ownership rankings.
 
Dan Snyder knows less about football than my lil sister. And im and only child.
 
The fucking Texans owner!!! David Carr!!!!! Mario Williams over Bush and Vince Young. I know he didnt make those calls alone but COME ON!!!!!!! I could draft better drunk after not watching football for 5 years.
 
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