Doom and Gloom - Hating on shit

Solve4X

Is your idiot brain being fucked by stupid?
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Every year the off season rolls around and almost everybody puts on their rose colored glasses about why this year is going to be different. This is the year we break the curse, this is the time Lucy doesn't pull the football away. We all know better. We are running to kick the football right before Lucy rips it away along with part of our soul. We know she is going to rip it away but we still run full speed ahead with a shit eating grin on our face. We will run into the tunnel not knowing the light at the end is actually a train.

Not this year. This is the year we take off the rose colored glasses before the draft. We all know that we will fuck the draft up. Sure, we will spit shine that turd after it happens but make no mistake, it will be a turd. In that spirit, I would like to be the first (the first in this thread at least) to take a stab at what and why the wheels fall off this year.

1. Chucky wasn't that great of a coach the first time around and the game really has past him by. He really is only in it for the ten million. He is hiring an all-pro staff to work his ten year old schemes and it will be evident immediately. When the preseason rolls around and the offense looks like dog shit, we will spit shine it like we do every year for one side of the team (sometimes both.)

2. Reggie is gonna Reggie.

3. We have WAY too many holes on D. Our O is not as complete as we make it out to be. We are up against the cap and won't sign anybody good anyway.

4. Derek Carr is brittle and we have two suspect tackles at best. One is a turnstile and the other will wake up old any day now. Gruden will push Carr and Carr will respond by going into the fetal position after leading the league in interceptions before he is benched for whatever schlub wins the backup position.

5. It sounds like we are planning on starting a 32 year old RB with tons of mileage. This will bite us in the ass. He played well down the stretch because we limited his carries in the beginning. If we give him the ball in the beginning of the season the wheels will fall off by game nine. Marshawn can only run behind stretch zone with no FB. Our OL can only man block and Gruden will insist on using a FB.

6. Our entire organization is still outdated. We have made a lot of strides recently to get our organization to the cutting edge of the eighties. Any day now we'll be doing the Macarena in warm-ups.

Please feel free to add more. Enough of the optimism in this place.
 
am i allowed to devils advocate the doom and gloom thread? or is that too expected?

I remember grudens flaws all too well.

too conservative

had a hard time integrating/trusting younger players.

Defenses were suspect even when we had talent.

We know reggie is capable of boom/bust talents. he's no super evaluator but hes not trash either.

Agree that our D is very suspect outside of mack. We're potentially going to lose some of our solid rotational pieces and havent had the young guys develop fast enough to take the places of the guys we are losing.

I'm not going to judge our OL/RB situation until we have or have not addressed it. As is - i'm not comfortable with either.
 
Oh my.

We be fucked but really that's pretty much what's going on.

In the words of the great @Madturk, time will tell.

I sure hope you're wrong about Gruden but it's not too much of a stretch to feel that way. He said it himself that he has a lot to prove.
 
Not sold on Carr.

Coordinator choices are a little suspect no matter how much I try and shine them.

Conley’s injury is concerning long term.

Not really excited to be going to Vegas even though Oakland (the city, not the fans) is getting what they deserve.
 
Every year the off season rolls around and almost everybody puts on their rose colored glasses about why this year is going to be different. This is the year we break the curse, this is the time Lucy doesn't pull the football away. We all know better. We are running to kick the football right before Lucy rips it away along with part of our soul. We know she is going to rip it away but we still run full speed ahead with a shit eating grin on our face. We will run into the tunnel not knowing the light at the end is actually a train.

Not this year. This is the year we take off the rose colored glasses before the draft. We all know that we will fuck the draft up. Sure, we will spit shine that turd after it happens but make no mistake, it will be a turd. In that spirit, I would like to be the first (the first in this thread at least) to take a stab at what and why the wheels fall off this year.

1. Chucky wasn't that great of a coach the first time around and the game really has past him by. He really is only in it for the ten million. He is hiring an all-pro staff to work his ten year old schemes and it will be evident immediately. When the preseason rolls around and the offense looks like dog shit, we will spit shine it like we do every year for one side of the team (sometimes both.)

2. Reggie is gonna Reggie.

3. We have WAY too many holes on D. Our O is not as complete as we make it out to be. We are up against the cap and won't sign anybody good anyway.

4. Derek Carr is brittle and we have two suspect tackles at best. One is a turnstile and the other will wake up old any day now. Gruden will push Carr and Carr will respond by going into the fetal position after leading the league in interceptions before he is benched for whatever schlub wins the backup position.

5. It sounds like we are planning on starting a 32 year old RB with tons of mileage. This will bite us in the ass. He played well down the stretch because we limited his carries in the beginning. If we give him the ball in the beginning of the season the wheels will fall off by game nine. Marshawn can only run behind stretch zone with no FB. Our OL can only man block and Gruden will insist on using a FB.

6. Our entire organization is still outdated. We have made a lot of strides recently to get our organization to the cutting edge of the eighties. Any day now we'll be doing the Macarena in warm-ups.

Please feel free to add more. Enough of the optimism in this place.

Spot-fucking-on! We are in for a rude awakening this year. I wonder if we'll even be able to win 5 games. I also wonder if this draft will be the nail in coffin for Reggie.
 
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