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Crow
01-26-2008, 10:43 PM
For the record, my neck isn't red. I grew my hair long to make sure it never developed any color.


www.twilightzone.com?

I took a week long hiatus to clear my head. When I come back, almost everyone here is spouting the same stuff I was being given the finger for saying. Am I at the right site? Was I supposed to turn left at ABQ?

A year ago, it was heresy to even whisper "Die, Al. Die." Now? I think I may have T-shirts made and sell them on e-bay. That, and "Just retire, baby!" I think I might turn enough profit to make it worth the effort.

I may also look into some Bones style silver & black paper bags. I'll be wearing mine at the Saints game next year. PM me if you want me to get you one as well. Please include your preferred size.


Foreign Relations

It's come to my attention that a local 5th grade teacher was arrested for...well, you know what she did.

Don't get too excited. She was breaking in any 5th graders. She and her husband had a 16 year old foreign exchange student living with them. Supposedly, the marriage is on the rocks. She, being only 24 herself and known to dress inappropriately, must have felt the exchange student mature for his age.

When a woman feels needy, someone's getting lucky. Little Habib or whatever his name was just happened to be the lucky guy.

Problem is, with her being a teacher and him being a child trusted to her care...well...you can see why some people are upset about this.

Story... (http://wdam.com/Global/story.asp?S=7773994)

Btw...TG. You used to be a teacher. You ever...ya know....give a student some extra tutoring?


Flag Flap

Every 4 years, during the primaries, the Confederate Battle Flag display in South Carolina stirs up the same ignorant people with the same ignorant views and the same revisionist history.

Surely, with "that flag" being so prominently displayed in the South Carolina capital, these people are hateful bigots.

Barack Obama just took South Carolina, blowing Hillary Clinton out of the water by a better than 2-1 margin.

Looks like he's well on his way to shooting down the notion that a black candidate can't win in the South.

Why is this relevant? If you know me at all, you know I take some pride in being able to wave my middle finger at the hypocrites north of the Mason-Dixon.


Spank You Very Much

If you're in the market for some adult entertainment, tell me if you've already seen these or not.

Hustler Hardcore Vault is a series with some of the rawest, nastiest, most wonderful shit you've ever seen. Definitely too much for the vanilla crowd. But, if you're like me and need something a little more than the standard "suck, missionary, doggy, facial" script, this shit right here, nooga...this shit right here...this shit right here is well worth the download. I have 1 & 2. There are at least 2 others that I'll be getting as soon as I get my DSL back in a couple months. As the name suggests, this is some of Larry Flynt's work.

Ass Worship #8 is one that I've given out a few copies off. Every person I've shared this movie with has come back to me with their jaws dragging the floor.

For the dark chocolate lovers, American Black Ass might be your shit. Another Hustler production, this one is slam full of..um...black on black crime. A definite getter.


Sleep Over Money?

I've been going to a spot called BioLife the last month selling plasma. First trip is $20. Go again that week and it's $40. Problem is, if you don't go a second time that week, your next donation only gets you $20.

I work nights Monday through Thursday, so my days are mostly devoted to sleep and my "special needs child". Friday is usually a wash. I sleep right through it. Saturday is usually my 2nd trip to BioLife and, more importantly, my $40 day.

Like a fool, these last two weeks, not only have I slept through Friday, but I've also been incapable of getting out of bed on time on Saturday. The bastards lock the doors at 3:30 on Saturday, as opposed to 6:30 during the week. Blame it on laziness. Blame it on Crown Royal and valium. Either way, in the last two weeks, I've shit myself out of an easy $80. For a guy who spent the last two weeks of December and the first two weeks of January laid off, that's a hard hit.

Ain't that some shit, though? Most people get an Xmas bonus. We get an Xmas layoff.


Money Over Bullshit

Got my W2. If I play it by the book, I should get back 2 grand between my federal and state refunds.

This is how I know I'm slipping, though. Used to, long before W2s came out, we'd be lurking the trailer parks and Section 8 joints looking for that single mom with "extra" kids. I've barely even glanced around.

There's one not far from where I work who is supposedly holding up her two babies for $1000 a piece. This bitch has lost her damn mind. $500? Sold. $700? I'm desperate. Sure. Let's do it. But $1000? How much does she think a guy is going to get back claiming her kids? Hey, if they would land me a minimum of 2 grand each, I'd take those SS#s and get paid. A thousand for her and a thousand for me. That's some bullshit, but it's free money.

Still, this freak here is fucking the game up for herself and the guys in the market for a spare young'n. I remember the good ol' days when you could rent a baby for $200. Everything else was yours.

I just hope that the woman I'm with this time next year is understanding about that sort of thing. Odds are that she'll make a lot more money than me, so she's going to need to give me a little leeway when it comes to going baby hunting. Somebody's gotta claim those little heathens. Might as well be me. Lord knows I could use the money. It'd be nice to have all my bills caught up for once in my life.


Two More Months

I've been without DSL for, what? 6 months? 8 months? Unreal. The devils at AT&T/BellSouth/Ma Bell say it'll be the end of March before I'm able to get back on DSL because they're "upgrading the lines". Why does that take a year? Why do I have to deal with this shit in 2000 god damn 8?

No satellite internet where I live except Hughes, and their reviews are horrendous. Maybe I can get them for a couple months and bail out before I'm committed to them.

Comcast access stops about a mile from my house. Maybe even only a 1/4 mile. Either way, it ain't available.

This is some bullshit.


More Bullshit

Did y'all know online classes aren't actually online classes? To get an AA from a local JC, I have to do a full semester in a standard classroom. Why is it called online when it's only partially online?

U of Phoenix, Ashford U, etc are 100% online. But, they're also ridiculously expensive. I can't go in the hole 20-30 grand. I just can't do it. I've accepted that I'm going to die penniless. But to die and still owe people from decades earlier? Unacceptable.

But there is a potential light at the end of this shit tunnel.


Getting Laid Off

It's not a matter of if. It's just a matter of when. The majority of the plant I work at has already been laid off, with their jobs being shipped to the Dominican Republic. My boss' boss came right out and told us that he's been trying to get the whole plant sent down there since 2004, but it's not economically viable at this point.

It's getting closer, though.

Guesstimates are 6 months to 2 years before we get the good news.

Why is it good news? Turns out, some of the women who got laid off a year or so ago are still pulling in a nice unemployment check PLUS they're getting put through school all expenses paid. Tuition, books, all that shit.

You think I'm not ready for that layoff? Shit. I asked the bastards the other day if I could apply for an early layoff. That'd be the best thing that could happen to me.

I could still take care of my grandmother during the day. I could take classes at night, or as many at night as were available.

I'd also have more time to work on my side hustles. So, barring some bylaw that says white males don't qualify, I should be in good shape.

The funny part of all of this is that the union who is allegedly looking out for us, Unite Here!, is best known for pushing for workers' rights in the Hispanic community. Suffice to say, I seriously doubt they're concerned about our black and white asses here.


Anyway...

Enough of that.

Crow
01-28-2008, 03:34 AM
My god, I suck at life.

Just e-filed my taxes. All that's left to do is print off some nonsense I have to sign & mail in. I would have been able to just use my 2006 W2 info as an e-signature, but who actually keeps those things?

Well, I bought a printer a month or three ago. I took it out of the box tonight to hook it up, and it's missing some shit. These things may or may not come with a USB cable. I accept that. It's a ripoff, but that's life.

More importantly, though, I can't find the damn cable that plugs this bitch into the wall. I don't know if I set the damn thing aside and my gremlins ran off with it or if the stupid printer just didn't come with one. Either way, I'm now incapable of printing this god damn thing to sign.

Ya know what's even funnier? I now have no idea what it was I was supposed to sign anyway. Fuck me 15 different ways from Sunday. I hate your world.

Why must everything in my life be such a fucking mess?

Why am I crying to you fucks? I should have a GaySpace page or something for this bullshit.

Anyway, I sent them an email begging for help.


Disappearing

I'm sure everyone has moments when they want to just blast off to another planet, or live in their closet, or otherwise just fall off the face of the earth. I feel like that almost daily. The worst part is that I resent those who make that impossible for me.

I feel trapped, even though I'm getting a free ride in a lot of ways. I may as well be property of the state.

I don't know where I'd go exactly, even if I could jet.

I've always wanted to go to Colorado. But I know people there. Most of them wouldn't want me polluting their mountain air with my Mississippi Co2. I suppose that's out.

Alaska seems like a nice idea. I like cold weather, and they have plenty of it. I like money, and I hear they pay really well up there. But that's a different world up there. Too much puddle jumping airplane travel. Too many white-hating natives. And, well, polar bears don't strike me as pleasant neighbors.

Canada is out. They'll write you a ticket for saying "faggot" up there. No way could I stand living amongst that sort of stupidity.

Used to, I could just hide in my room or bolt to New Orleans by myself on a whim. Those days are gone. I can't even get lost on the internet anymore. I've been doing this shit for so long, it's almost like real life. Thus, it's more or less lost it's appeal for me. I think I come online now for the sad and simple reason that I can't not plug in.


Making bad worse

Whenever I get low these days, I can't help but look back to a couple years ago. I was on the cusp of something really good. I had the opportunity have the things I always wanted in life. I've never had nice things, so I've never learned how to take care of them. Part of me thought that I could just instinctively adapt to suddenly having a slice of Heaven fall into my little Hell. I figured that taking care of something this good would just come natural. I even convinced myself that there was more to this Hell than what I was making of it.

I was wrong on all counts.

I took that little slice of Heaven, held it against the flames, and basically watched it burn. I could have stopped it from happening. I had countless opportunities to take it away from the fire. But, as is typical with me, I failed to do so. I watched Heaven burn down around me and didn't do a god damn thing but pour gas on it when the flames got too low.

I guess some people just aren't meant to have nice things.


That was years ago. Why brood over it now? Why hang on to regret?

I think that anyone whose world is in the gutter can probably name the points in their life that caused their present to be the way it is.

I've never been a farsighted person. I tend to look back at what went wrong more than looking ahead to what I can make right. Regret is hard to let go. The past is hard to ignore. How can you when its fruits are all around you?


Anyway...

Just felt like typing, and it sure beats rehashing the same old "Al Davis is an idiot" shit I've been posting for years. I finally have you guys to do that for me now.

My special needs child is blowing her trusty air horn, so until next whine...

Angel
04-06-2009, 06:14 PM
Do you always talk to yourself Crow? :p